We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
