I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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