capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
