I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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