me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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