I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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