Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
