he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize