I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize