Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
