We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
