he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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