laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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