I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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