just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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