would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
