yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
