Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
