He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
