You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
