The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Floor bacon is actually really good
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
