She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I didn't notice because vodka
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
