my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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