i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
