her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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