you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
