fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize