I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
