What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
