Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
