did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
