no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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