I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
