Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
