Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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