i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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