the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
In America we eat man semen.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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