her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
