i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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