I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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