then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
