I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
