I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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