Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
