If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
