Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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