We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
