two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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