Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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