I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
