i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize