do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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