why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
