totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
