I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
