in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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