That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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