I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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