just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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