More tranny stories later!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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