I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
