did you get engaged???
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
