I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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