I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we're making bets on your personal life
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
